All in the family

*This has to do with family and not about anything that ever happened between Evan and me. And I say "me" because it is the object of between.*

I don't really know what is "all in the family" because where I come from it doesn't stay in the family at all. It bleeds out into the public. It effects us all, and we interact with others, in turn effect them. Like dominos, the chain continues because we are all in someway connected to each other. In my 21 years of life, I have seen only instances where we have only wanted the best for our family and the ones we love. (However, there were those few times of jealousy where we wanted to sabotage the good luck streak of our younger brother who happened to get all the cool toys).

But when we all grow up and mature (at least somewhat) is it then that we realize that the happier we are for the successes of the ones we love, the happier we are in general about ourselves. When we also reach that point we understand that what harms our loved ones effects us as well. No longer are we the children that want only the best for ourselves; we are the adults that want the best for others. We get an emotional high from the successes of our family. We also feel the emotional low when our families struggle with their own lives. We hurt (maybe not as much as they do, but we hurt) nonetheless.

When families are in conflict is when I feel the most stress is felt in a family. At least when families are on the same side, they are together in their struggle. What is most conflicting is that when a family is in a struggle, the other side is only wanting the best for themselves. Stay with me, I have a theory!

We say that we want the best for them, but really we want the best for ourselves. If someone (A) appears to be supportive of the other side (B) but you still wholeheartedly believe they are wrong, I theorize that A wants B to believe that A has the best interest in B so that relations between A and B are still good. For A, the guilt is no longer on A because B and A have good relations despite their disagreement.

When the disagreement is open and A is adamant (verbally, physically, etc.) about not letting B make the decision that B believes is right but A believes is totally disastrous, it may be harder to discern what A's motives are but A is still doing it for the sake of A. Perhaps A is jealous and returning to childlike behavior. Perhaps A really does want B to be happy and feels that B is making a mistake. So how is the last one for the sake of A? Well, like I said in the beginning, families are emotionally attached. If A sees that B cannot "see the light," it becomes stressful for A to get B to understand A's side. And it is stressful for B because B knows exactly what is right for B. A conflict occurs, usually because of a miscommunication and then no one knows what was truly meant to be said.