Don't get me wrong, the parks can be a cool place. It is all about timing. If you go between October 1st and March 15th (beware the Ides of March) it looks like this
|Just try keeping your arms and legs inside the vehicle with 17 adults and 32 small children to a row.|
I am now going to walk you through what an experienced Disney goer mentally prepares for on a trip to this so called "Happiest Place on Earth"- apparently the only other contestant for that title was Auschwitz.
First of all you should feel like you are fully equipped for battle
|While the one on the left meets the bare minimum, I suggest being no less armoured and equipped than the Space Marine on the right.|
Now for the day of. Most people don't realize that Central Florida is a an impenetrable network of Toll Roads with a single exception, the nightmarish hell of I-4 (yet another contestant for "The Happiest Place on Earth). Assuming you aren't from FL and manage to navigate yourself through this labyrinthine network of quarters and dollar bills, you get to the parking lot as previously discussed. Now if you don't want to take the trolley or the monorail you also have the choice of taking a ferry. This ultimately feels more like the opening sequence of Saving Private Ryan.
Along the way you get to see such pleasurable sites as
-Overweight Scottish family
-American trailer park family with matching rat tails and/or mullets
-Pasty white British Thighs.
-Giant Hong Kong tour group with flags
-Rambunctious barely contained Church group with a ratio of 1 adult to 55 children (aka adults at Disney). Fortunately they are all in horribly designed yellow t-shirts with white lettering, the eyesore being easier to track through the multitudes.
-Norwegian blonde viking clan
Finally you get to your ride of choice, and for the sake of this article it will be "It's A Small World".
You now get to spend 90 minutes plus waiting to see an attraction that was considered mildly amusing in the 1950s because of robotic and animatronics. I guess a horribly high pitched repetitive song is enough to keep the masses enthused for generations.
At the end of the day you either wait a miserably long time for a parade and firework show to attempt to justify your day
Oh but wait you bought a 5 day park hopper pass! YOU GET TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!