Friday, March 14, 2014

He's Perfect. he?

No one knows my child better than I do. I don't try to push my son to be someone I think he should be. I give him a choice if I can. Usually if it's a snack, anything I have at the house will be something he'll eat. When we go out to eat, I usually am so limited that he doesn't have a choice. He doesn't get to pick what we do everyday, what he wears (mostly), or where we go. He also doesn't get to pick who he is.

None of us do. He is already who he's going to be. Ever since he was a wee baby barely mobile, he was very comfortable observing the world around him. He has been a quiet baby when in public, simply being entertained by being invisible and keeping to himself.

So why did I try to force strongly encourage my son to make friends at the park? I am an introvert. I know how hard it is to talk to people you don't know. It's much more pleasant to be by myself. I hated group projects (still do). Other people just slow me down and get in my way. I have a nice time doing whatever it is I want without interference.

I believe that introverts are generally not accepted. In school, students are punished if they don't speak up. So for people like me who think, speak, and solve internally, we often receive lower evaluations simply because we are being ourselves. When we choose to enjoy the peace and quiet of being by ourselves, we get called "impersonable." Impersonable is not the case at all. In fact we like being around people, just people we are close to, especially the one we know best-- ourselves.

I had to check myself for pushing my son to go interact with other kids at the playground. He is very kind and polite. He isn't rude or harming anyone. I am not going to keep him at home, secluded, and away from other people. But I will not force my child to be someone he's not.

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